Federation
by Ruth Lechner
Summary: Deleted by accident. Re-uploaded. Cadet Hurst takes on the Academy, on a bit of a whim, really. SpockxOC - my other stories are also being re-uploaded. Thanks for your patience :) No Spock/Uhura
1. Chapter 1

**Due to a misunderstanding, this story was taken off the site with my other ones, when this story I wanted to leave on here. I took some of my other stories off for personal reasons, but I wanted to leave Federation. So, I only realized it was gone when someone PM' me (thank you!), and I'm re-uploading it because of that. I'm so sorry. It's back now for your reading pleasure! Thank you to everyone whose found it again, thank you for coming back, it was all an accident. Federation was not supposed to be removed from the website. So I've brought it back now. The other stories you know and love are going back up too! Isn't that fun? :D**

**I also noticed, for a while, my profile page said that it was 'temporarily on hold', I live in an area with bad reception, so I think that was the cause. It made it sound like I was in trouble, but I wasn't. Just a malfunction. Everything now however is working perfectly.**

**I've gotten further in writing this story, I was ready to post the updates when I saw I got a PM saying it was gone, so I'll be uploading this story with the new updates too. Thank you for reading! :) Sorry for the misunderstanding guys :)**

**I'm going to be re-uploading slowly so that people can get a chance to get back into this story, but as I've already got a lot of chapters written, you can rest assured I won't make you wait months before I update, haha :P :) :D'**

**There is no Spock/Uhura. And as to the question whether or not this is AU, this is already an alternate universe to the original Star Trek Universe, so I've just written my OC into the storyline.**

**There will be romance, drama, angst, action/adventure, hurt/comfort, etc.**

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><p>I'd always loved Xenolinguistics, which was why I was looking forward to taking the course in Starfleet Academy. It was the easiest 'A', and the most enjoyable, I thought.<p>

In the lecture hall, our teacher, a Vulcan by the name of Mr. Spock stood in front of a black board. I was one of the earliest ones there, with the exception of a dark skinned girl with a high, long, dark ponytail sitting on the other side of the lecture hall's mass of seats. We noticed each other as students began trickling in to take their seats. I noticed that some, especially the girls, had looked uncomfortable with the Cadet uniforms when I was on my way over here - how they stood in groups of their friends, guys and girls, commenting on it. Even the guys thought it was a tad constricting, I had overheard. I myself felt comfortable. It was the uniform, wasn't it?

All morning, meeting my professors and getting the lecture of what was expected in each class, I'd been pretty laid back. But once the Vulcan started speaking, I felt myself sitting up. Something stirred in me. This professor had high standards, extremely high expectations, and it was apparent that he was very intelligent. The other professors of course had high expectations, but I felt it was different to this professor. I sort of entered the Academy with lax ambitions. Later, when I looked back on this day, I was glad that I had this professor, Professor Spock, to be the spark to awaken my ambitions in Starfleet. I didn't know what my plan was entering Starfleet - it was hard to get into, and you had a reputation once you were accepted. I had planned to do well, not really try but still get good grades (nothing was worth effort, in my opinion), skirt through and then graduate. I hadn't actually planned far enough to graduate. It'd been a spontaneous decision to try to get into Starfleet - so I didn't really know what I was doing here, or what I _could _do here. But I was aroused; the fire of my ambitions - which was only the ember of a Bunsen burner - fanned by this Professor in the front of the room on my first day. And he was only talking. But I felt excited to meet his expectations, to exceed them, to meet his high standards. I was so lucky to meet the professor on my first day.

It was the only push I needed. I walked out of the lecture hall with a bounce in my step, ready to study my butt off. I wanted to ask if there was any extra reading I could do, but if I asked, I'd be obligated to read and who knew if the wind would be let out of my sails later, so I refrained. I noticed the dark skinned girl I had noticed speaking to him after class, so early. I noticed some people noticed and snickered. She may be getting his attention now, but I would over take her and shine. I had suspicions that she was an academic and an academic only - which is her fatal weakness (if it were true). No matter what, I would get ahead of her. I would get ahead of everyone.

* * *

><p>"What is a basic greeting consistent of in Klingon culture?" He'd asked in the lecture.<p>

The dark skinned girl's hand shot up, and Spock calmly nodded to her. She answered, and answered every other question he asked, and she was quickly known to be the expert in the class. I raised my hand none of the times, I didn't know the answers, and I didn't know my peers, and I didn't know how my professor thought.

But I was ready to become an expert in my field. I only needed my own permission, which I had now. Most people studied just to pass the test, or just to understand only the material tested. I quickly understood that every cadet's, apart from me, it seemed, priority was to party all weekend and get smashed. I was never one to fall into peer pressure unless I planned to, so I was never a part of these social gatherings, where no one remembered who was there or not anyway because they were so drunk, so I would always say that I was there. But I wasn't committed enough to actually go and rest people's suspicions, just arrive and leave, I had too much delectable information to devour. I had too many people to beat, every scenario to win. Once I decided upon something, I was going to do everything I needed to do to obtain it - no matter what it was. And in this case, it was absolute success in my chosen field area. I wanted to be the best of the best. And I was going to. It was only the first night and I was studying my butt off - excited to succeed.

* * *

><p>I spent hours studying every night. I obtained every book on Xenolinguistics that I could. I studied and studied, even 'irrelevant' information. But language is one giant web, so I understood subtle things in class and lecture that I don't think anyone else did. Most people thought Spock was a grouch with a 'stick up his ass', but he actually made intelligent jokes - ones you had to know the information already to understand. I think he caught on when I started giggling in class one day. Everyone in the room looked at me like I was crazy, and I think that was the first time they all noticed me. From then on, I began raising my hand in class and answering questions. Professor Spock asked a question that wasn't in the chapter of the textbook he had assigned reading, but it was in a book I had read the other day. The cadets in class soon realized if they sat back, it would be a back-and-forth between Uhura and I to answer questions. At this curve ball question Uhura, for the first time, sat dumbfounded, unable to answer. I raised my hand, confident with the information in the front of my mind. I answered, and I could hear whispers going 'what the heck? how did she know that?'. Uhura - everybody knew her name in the first week - began to look at me. I smiled. I wasn't egotistical or overly competitive - I was happy for her for being so accomplished above the other cadets in the class. I was feeling satisfied at being able to bounce off information off of her, and to learn from her. I was happy also because I now garnered the attention of my Xenolinguistics professor.<p>

After that, I relaxed a bit. The other professors I had noticed my enthusiasm in their classes, and their faces opened when they saw me. They offered me extra material, praises, and encouragements. I didn't care much for the last two, but I took the extra assignments if only just to study from them. I asked questions about them, and they were too busy to notice that I didn't give it in, even if I did complete them. I was always scared of being corrected, and I had one teacher that corrected me often, but I knew he was just being a good professor even if I hated the way my heart would speed up in fright at the prospect. I always felt better when I encountered the same problems that he helped me with, and then I got the answers correct. I didn't really care much that the other cadets were grappling for marks in that class and wondering why the material was so hard.

One Xenolinguistics class I let Uhura take lead in answering questions. I already knew the questions/answers, and didn't feel like showing off that day. I was content to let it play out for the other cadets catch up. Spock would look at me but then answer Uhura, not because he thought I was better at answering the questions but probably because he was wondering why I suddenly stopped and took a back seat. Uhura was loving being able to voice her opinions. Most of the things she said I already knew, but some things and details she said puzzled me. After she gave a self-satisfied answer which I was sure only the Professor and I in the room were still listening to by the end, (for how long-winded and detailed it was) I leaned forward over my desk. She was on the other side of the room, but we were the only two people sitting upright so we were clearly distinguished to one another.

"Are you sure about that, Uhura?" I asked, the edges of my fingers gripping the desk. I wanted her to prove herself right, my voice was kind, not condescending. She turned to me, a bit snootily for I didn't know what I did, but I usually got that from girls. I was sure that she was a kind, sweet girl inside, I just haven't seen it yet. Given the projection and trajectory of our relationship, it was likely to happen. She then defended herself and I sat back, realizing she was right and I just hadn't seen it. She kept going past the necessary point and I waved concession unabashedly, "No, you're right, Uhura." Her jaw clicked shut, as if she didn't expect that, and I was looking at the front of the room ready to move onto the next topic, since the last topic was finished with. I glanced at the clock, knowing that Uhura was still staring at me, then she looked back at her notes. I realized by looking at the clock that class was almost over, and we spent the entire period in discussion, which Spock didn't usually allow.

"We have time to go over topics that you do not understand, so ask now before the test next Thursday." He said. Some people raised their hands and asked questions. I never switched off, so I listened. I always marveled how people phrased the same questions differently, and then the response they received from Professor Spock was the same one he'd been repeating when we were studying the topic. But not many people had the memory like he or I seemed to have. I knew I wasn't Vulcan, I was human, but still my memory was quite extraordinary for human standards. I still remember the roll call of my elementary school. If you hear something repeated every single day of your life, except weekends, of course you're going to remember, people. It's not extraordinary.

I relaxed even further in my studies. I still studied, but my interest in it was going away. I find once the challenge goes, so does my interest. When I got so far behind that Uhura scored one more point on me in the test, enough was enough. I felt secretly ashamed and humiliated, even if half of me also felt altruistic about it. I got up after class and congratulated her. She looked at me with a hard face. She must be used to girls approaching her for mean purposes, but when she looked at me there was more of a softness than there was before. She didn't want to have her guard up with me, but she did just in case. She'd seen, since that time I conceded to her in class, that I wasn't truly being mean to her. She was cautious, and she also didn't know how to drop her guard. She nodded curtly to me, hand grasping the messenger bag strap on her shoulder.

"Thanks." She hurried away, but I was more relaxed. I moved through the rows of seats back to my chair to gather my bag, analyzing my emotions. I wasn't humiliated or ashamed because of how everyone reacted with 'oo' at Uhura's test score being above mine, when mine had been above hers consistently, I didn't care about that. It was my own personal standards that I had failed to meet. I put things away neatly in my bag then raised it onto my shoulder and prepared to walk out of the classroom, one of the last ones there.

"Cadet Hurst," I turned at the calm voice saying my name. I saw Professor Spock standing by the aisle at the bottom that I was just about to exit into, hands behind his back. I noticed that he never leaves the part of the room where his desk and the black board were, when the cadets were there, anyway. He took my turning to him as a cue to go on, and he said. "Did you falter in last topic's material?"

I tilted my head.

"Why do you say that, sir?"

"Cadet Uhura beat your score by one point."

"A fact I'm sore about, sir." At his impassive stare, which he always had, but I sensed he didn't get it so I elaborated. "It means I didn't like it, sir. Slang." I hated charming teachers because it was so tacky, but if I said nothing when they made statements about my scores I would come across weird. Then again, I thought to myself, he's Vulcan, and it would not be weird to him. I knew that when we first sat down in his class on the first day, his eyes swept across the room, settled on me, pinned me as the pretty popular air headed girl and moved on. I didn't particularly care, but the fact he was approaching me about my academics meant that I must have changed his mind. It was thrilling.

He nodded almost imperceptibly. I knew what he was going to say, so I requested it first out of a sense of pride.

"May I have some extra assignments, sir? So that I can make up my score?"

He said,

"Cadet, your scores are continually high - "

"Forgive my interruption, sir, what I mean is, where I come from we say that to make a better score next time. In America it means to re-do our test. I'm not interested in doing that."

He nodded.

"I understand. What I was going to state was that your scores are continually high and being second place in the class once won't hurt your grade."

I nodded, cutting him off at that point which was considered appropriate as if I wasn't sensitive enough to perceive that he was going to continue, but I also knew what he was going to say and I needed to be seen as pro-active and ambitious, which I was.

"I believe in continual study, sir. No matter the grade in my class, I believe in bettering myself in every way that I can." He nodded, and I gleaned that my answer satisfied him. My answer to the extra papers was 'yes'.

I followed him down to his desk, and I cringed a little because now I was at the teacher's desk and people were filing in for his next class, so they could see me. I didn't want to be seen as the teacher's pet. That was Uhura's job. He curtly handed me the papers and I curtly took them.

I thanked him and left.

* * *

><p>I had the misfortune of meeting Jim Kirk in my first week of being at Starfleet Academy, but I had managed to stay away from him. The boy annoyed me, in a conceptual way, not in an emotional way, so I stayed away from him as much as possible - in hallways, in class, in life. Haha, I'm just kidding. Generally, everywhere. Every time that I glanced at him, he had his eye on a girl, and maybe a humorous person would joke that then 'it made me wonder if that was all he did', but I was too smart to entertain such a sentence. Of course he did other things, girl. One thing I didn't like, and was sensitive to my whole adult life, is how girls seemed to think it was their job to be feeling and be there for a man, and it was a man's job to take advantage of a woman and these thoughts and give her the 'privilege of being with a man', only to leave, and then the woman is broken hearted. The whole thing seemed pointless, but I hated the inequality between the genders. Women were smarter than that, but they were taught to believe that. Kirk had never targeted me for a one night stand, but that was because I was always concentrated on something, or he just never saw me because I was staying out of his way. Ducking behind a pot plant. I'm just kidding again. When I spoke in class in the first week I knew of him I saw him leaning over to me to probably whisper something stupid in my ear, but I've been told I'm a strong and independent thinker, which is reflected in how I answer questions, so that must have scared him off. I was so relieved.<p>

Spurning Jim Kirk, even if it was subtle and backwards and probably didn't even register in his conscious mind that I was doing it on purpose (it's gotta be his idea or he'll latch on and never let go), seemed to put me in the shadows again in the social world of the academy. I was so happy. I didn't like attention. In fact, I abhorred it. I wanted my own space, my own distance to have my own thoughts. I didn't want anyone close to me or always watching me or giving me attention.

There was one class where I had unexpected success in. Well, I unexpectedly enjoyed it. It was Xenobiology, and I cracked jokes and smiled and laughed a lot. I made a friend or two in there. But after a few classes when I realized that my Professor was staring at me, I stopped.

Being on campus was extremely boring, so one had to go off campus. But to get off campus, you had to have money. To have money, I needed a job. I detested the idea of working and studying - studying took up all my focus, I needed that to get the marks that I did. I also detested waitressing. I didn't want to do it. I lamented in class one day and my Xenobiologist teacher offered me to work in the lab. He warned it'd probably be cleaning beakers and writing reports, and I said confidently that I would rather do that than waitress. I noticed my Professor was a bit too happy that I accepted, but I pretended to dismiss it. I didn't really dismiss it. I follow my instincts. So four days a week I scrubbed beakers, took inventory and cleaned lab tables. I learned a lot more than I expected. If the Professor ever came in, he came in to check on me before going back to his office. The others working in the Starfleet lab were surprised at how young I was and that I was let in here, but they didn't question their professor. They were all in their last year of Starfleet. The wage was good enough for a starting job.

I was in my room one quiet Saturday afternoon putting something together on my PADD, with my roommate lounged on her unmade bed, twirling her hair. The guy she's been seeing for a little while cancelled on her and she was moping. Thankfully I'd developed coping skills in elementary school to ignore others' stupidity and irrationality so I was semi okay working with Her Mopiness around.

The door chipped and she looked at me. I acknowledged her with one eye, my back to her, before I put something together.

"I'm not expecting anyone," I said calmly. She rolled off her bed and went to the door, looking through the keyhole. She gasped when she saw who was on the other side. I put down my project in frustration at the sharp, distracting noise. Instantly Rea was her usual happy, bubbly self that I hadn't seen in a few hours.

"He's here!" She staged squealed from the door to my sitting form. She was in her pajamas, so she flung herself into the bathroom with an amateur ballerina's leap and locked the door. I'd developed quite a fondness for Rea, so my mind was on what she was doing. I often had to cover for her absentmindedness and the forgetting of details. I sighed and abandoned the project for the time being and made my way to the door. I stood in front of the door and clicked the button that opened the sliding door, Jim Kirk obviously expecting to walk inside but stopped before he ran into me, surprise on his face. Although my stare was unflinching and my face blank, I wondered why I bothered to resist fate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright guys, chapter 2! I'm not editing the chapters that I've already written, but I've written more than the chapter's that you've seen. I'm eagerly anticipating getting this whole story on :)**

**I loved your reviews, thank you! To the new, and consistent, readers, thank you! :) Enjoy! :)**

**Not sure about my characterization of Kirk, if it's just too... much. A short chapter, but the next one's, and the one's after, are longer.**

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><p>James Tiberius Kirk was going to go on a date. And with a smokin' hot Bajoran girl too. Names Tara, or somethin'. But when the door opened to her dorm there wasn't the beautiful blonde he remembered but an equally beautiful brunette with dark eyes and a grounded demeanor about her. Looks like he'd gotten the wrong room. What kind of girl gave him the wrong quarters? A girl that liked to play hard to get. He likey.<p>

His blue eyes darted about the room behind the girl to look for his date but he didn't see her. Yup, definitely wrong room. He vaguely remembered the girl in front of him, who definitely wasn't moving and still hadn't stopped staring. He was probably being rude.

He was hesitant.

"Uh... sorry to disturb you," he scratched the back of his head as he said. "Is there a... blonde, Bajoran here?"

"I'm here!" He heard a high pitched female voice call from the bathroom. Kirk leaned forward to confirm it was the bathroom (he was familiar with the layout of female dorms). He chuckled.

"Still getting ready? Women, eh?" He looked down at the girl, who he realized was short, and saw that his bad attempt at humor was poorly received. Then she spoke as if he hadn't said anything.

"You're the one that she's going out with today?"

Talk about rude.

"Yeah, what, do I need to pass the best friend test or somethin?" His smile got perverted. "Cuz you know I can fit you in later this week."

"You misunderstand me. She said that her date cancelled on her." He was taken back at the formality of the answer, not expecting such a calm and formal rebuttal to his advances. He actually didn't know what to say, but in the next second his Bajoran date strutted out of the bathroom and added to his speechlessness. She came around her roommate and hooked arms with him, giving him a dazzling smile.

"Her name is Rea," the calm, rational voice split through their moment like ice on heated engines. Before Kirk could cover for his mistake, a bit flustered and intimidated that this girl saw right through him, Rea quickly turned her head and shushed her roommate.

"He knows that, Annabelle!"

He saw the girl's eyes widen a fraction, and he didn't know why. Then the Bajoran quickly turned back to Kirk, who still couldn't get over how beautiful she was.

"Let's get going!" She steered him around and down the hallway. Cadet Hurst stepped back, taking her finger off the button of the door and it slid closed.

?+/:;'

I was wondering how my tactics to stay away from Jim Kirk could ever be considered successful now as I stood face to face with him. He'd nearly walked _right_ in to me. I had no idea that the guy my roommate had daydreamed and mooned over these last two days was James T. Kirk. I regretted listening and counseling her about him, and giving her hope.

"Still getting ready? Women, eh?" He crossed his arms and leaned against the frame of the door, which I thought was presumptuous. I didn't deem ungraceful comments with a reply, so I chose business out of protectiveness for my friend.

"You're the one that she's going out with today?"

"Yeah, what, do I need to pass the bestfriend test or somethin?" His smile got perverted. "Cuz you know I can fit you in later this week."

"You misunderstand me. She said that her date cancelled on her." I said, and he looked taken back. I wanted him to state the reason for this visit when he'd cancelled, but in the next moment I heard Rea's heels making clamping noises on the wood floor as she came over. She knocked his socks off, said his face. Rea was really pretty, a lot of boys fawned over her. I liked it, because it kept me in the background. She hooked arms with him, smiling brilliantly. I was only focusing on Kirk's reaction.

"Her name is Rea," I said, catching him. He'd forgotten her name. Before I could expose Kirk to Rea the Bajoran quickly turned her head and shushed me.

"He knows that, Annabelle!" She simpered, deflating a bit in adoration. Annabelle wasn't really my name, I just never introduced myself with my full name to my roommate. I was 'Cadet Hurst' to her. So she gave me a new name whenever she felt like it. She was quite inventive. I only put up with it for smooth relations. But no one knew my first name, and it was done on purpose. They were the competition, and I didn't want to think of myself as one of them. Then Rea steered Kirk down the hallway. "Let's go!"

Kirk tried to look over his shoulder at me, questioning his date,

I returned to my desk, the door closing as I took my finger off the button. I would have advised her differently if I knew it was Kirk. She'd technically fancied him since beginning of the year. I picked up my project. She deserved better.

?+/:;'

"What was that?" Kirk asked. The Bajoran smiled in a pleasing way, leaning closer to his arm before she pulled away.

"My roommate... 'Cadet Hurst'." She sputtered into laughter out of adoration of her friend. "She won't tell me her name, so I make it up. On the first day we met, I said, 'hello, I'm Cadet Rea Dejorna', and she says, 'I'm Cadet Hurst'. She's so cute," Kirk could tell she had sincere affection for her roommate. "No matter how I keep asking, and it's been... what, a few months now? She still won't tell me her first name."

"Sounds like someone I know..." Kirk murmured to himself, but she didn't hear.

"So I give her a new one every week. This week it's Stacey, a human name. Stacey's nice, don't you think? A nice name." Rea smiled remembering the week before when she announced what she would call her friend, and the semi annoyed look on her face. But she let her, which to Rea said she wasn't offended. "She's very private. Very quiet, keeps to herself... But she's very sweet, and caring." Kirk nodded but had zoned out. "Anyway," she quickly said, grabbing his arm again. "Let's have some fun,"

Kirk's smile came back.

"Now we're talkin'!" He grinned, even though she meant having a fun day.

?+/:;'

I kept tinkering around with my PADD until I felt bored and then sat back in my chair, a hand to my chin. As if on cue, the door chirped. I didn't feel like getting the door, and the intrusion upon my privacy made my voice annoyed as I said.

"Come in,"

In walked a mixed species group. My face softened a little.

"Hey," said McCoy, standing at the front of the group, who were chatting amongst themselves. "I know you said you didn' wanna go, but now's your last chance," He sing songed.

Going out for a movie and dinner wasn't really my thing, but it was the least regrettable activity to do with friends, in my opinion. The most I had to put up with was boring conversation. Most people were so unoriginal, in that regard. But it's not like they were binge drinking or going to pick somebody up.

And I wanted a change of scenery and I'd probably get a free dinner, so I agreed.

"Sure," I said, and got up from my desk chair. I was wearing jeans and a casual shirt. "Just give me a second."


	3. Chapter 3

(word) - internal thoughts

[word] - relevant information, or a clarification of what they meant that wasn't said in usual speech, so that the reader understands. Like in Journalism where somebody is quoted, "[he] will definitely become a superstar". They answered in response to a question something like, 'yeah, will definitely become a superstar" because grammar in real life isn't formal, then the journalist put [he] so that formal readers of the document/article will understand the context. For context.

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><p>When considering my deception - after giving it some thought - I realized that people would probably realize that I was actually never at the parties I claimed to be. Especially because I never was. But when I went out with the group that night, who joined up with another group of people (all mixed species), it turns out that I must have looked like someone who <em>did <em>go to these parties. They called me Cassandra all night. I didn't bother to correct them, because I'd probably never see them again. That is, until one guy squinted at me and tilted his head,

"Do I know you?" Meaning, did he know _me, _and not the girl I was supposed to be.

A green skinned girl with a bald, cone head opened her mouth while looking at me too but McCoy beat her to it and put his arm around me, hugging me to him while we walked down the street,

"Cadet Hurst has the highest grades in X-Ling (_A/N: short for Xenolinguistics, I just made it up_), and one of the highest in the year,"

The boy was still squinting, and I think he knew I wasn't the Cassandra girl.

"Personal space," I took McCoy's arm off me.

The movie was basically boring. More boring than studying but not boring enough for me to leave, like politics or economics. I was the quietest of the group, and I only focused on the movie. McCoy, who was the only person I knew, tried to talk to me several times about boring subjects so I kept blowing it off. Eventually he stopped, but his eyes always came back to me. It always astounded me how other people assumed responsibility for me. I was responsible for my own happiness, thank you very much.

I came back to my dorm later that night, then I realized I'd forgotten to do something for a class. When I checked what class it was, it was Xenolinguistics. I put down my planner and calculated whether or not I would get away with it with my Professor's respect and admiration in tact. I wouldn't. But I didn't want to do it. I was tired. I trudged to my PADD and wrote out a draft. I sat staring out the window for half an hour, then I went back and finished the paper as if I'd spent hours on it. It was 1am when my head hit the pillow and I slept until morning.

?+/:;'

When I was finished getting dressed that morning my door chirped. I walked over past my roommate's empty bed and opened the door. I was a bit puzzled to see McCoy on the other side. I walked back into my dorm to finish getting my things while he stood in the doorway.

"Just came ta pick ya up. Yoroi's not gonna be happy if you're late on test day," It was true, he hated any stragglers coming in late on test days.

I smoothed the back of my skirt to make sure it wasn't somehow upturned a tiny bit. It was always my fear.

"I'm never late," I calmly reminded him. After a last inspection I picked up my bag and my books and walked out.

"Hey, where's your roommate?" McCoy asked. He seemed awfully interested in my business. As for Rea, I didn't really care. I shrugged.

"Probably sucking face with someone." For some reason my comment shocked him.

I looked about the courtyard as we crossed it, looking at the trees I looked at everyday. McCoy still looked at me for a beat. I offered,

"She went out with Kirk yesterday."

He chuckled.

It was just then I noticed that part of the group that we were walking with, some of them I recognized from last night. One that hadn't been there last night was Jason, a human boy from my Astrophysics class. I didn't really get astrophysics, so he always helped me. He was a nice guy, and we were in the habit of speaking if we ever saw each other. McCoy and I were kind of lagging at the back of the group, but more distant from the group than just being slow, like our own group...

"He never quits..." I realized he was still speaking about Kirk. "Speak of the devil," Kirk chest bumped right into McCoy on his other side before falling into step with him, arm around his shoulder.

"Hey. That's an _old _saying. Didn't yer mom ever teach you not to _blaspheme_ like that?"

McCoy greeted in turn with his own tease and retort, looking him over. While they had a conversation about something or other, I turned my gaze to the side of the courtyard, where I saw my Xenolinguistics Professor talking with an elder professor. They spoke for a little while then parted. I turned my gaze back to the front, just as Kirk began to take notice of me.

Yipee.

"Hey, you're that Hurst girl, right?" He said, bobbing and leaning over McCoy (to see me), who, in the middle of the two of us, gave him a weirded out look. My look gave Kirk everything he needed, a dry 'yeah'. Kirk smirked and walked upright again, looking around. "Cadet _Hurst_," He mocked loudly. "No one knows her first name..."

I didn't deign it with a response, but McCoy shoved him a little. They started getting in their own little spat that I didn't pay attention to until we got to class. Our seats were scattered, so without further ado other than wishing them good luck I took my seat and got out my pen and pencil for the test.

?+/:;'

After the test everybody called 'grueling' and 'hardcore' - although I found it refreshing, not grueling; I like it when teachers challenge how much I know - I sat in Xenolinguistics. After the math part of my brain being K.O'd I then had to switch to language. I was practicing with the girl who sat next to me. We took turns trying to get our tongues around the strange syllables and lulls one had to have for this particular language. I hated working with partners but I had to practice. She had quite a good grasp on it and I complimented her on it and she blushed.

For the second half of the period was a lecture on the next topic we'd be studying. I preferred lecture. I liked listening. Practicing, yes, it made me competent but listening was better. I hated periods where our activities were divided, because I got too much into the first one to really enjoy the second one until the last ten minutes of the class, then then I didn't want to stop, then I'd have to go and enjoy boring classes for the rest of the day. But nothing energized me more than working to meet Professor Spock's high standards. I'd put up with it all just to be able to take his class.

Throughout the lecture I was slouched in my seat but all my attention was on Professor Spock. I rarely moved during lectures. I was probably stiller than a rock. People always noticed, but I think they never commented because I intimidated them too much. I was quite aloof. Other than Uhura, I never made eye contact with anyone else in my class ever. Spock never looked at me in the eyes, so yeah, technically... yeah.

Spock asked for someone to demonstrate the languages we had learned so far. Uhura's hand of course raised in the air. He looked at me, for I had been so quiet all lecture, and answered the other girl with a calm nod. I looked at Uhura as she demonstrated the greeting of thirteen languages. The course was quite rigorous, like two of my other courses [I was taking this year]. The rest were lax, in my opinion. Others didn't quite agree. Some had dropped out of the academy already.

As she demonstrated the greetings I silently counted them in my head. When she got to twelve, she stumbled, but then she remembered quickly and demonstrated Bajoran.

Spock was collecting the papers we had to write and I leaned down to my bag and froze when I saw it wasn't there. I think the panic was on my face because the person on my left saw and she gave me a pity smile to try to lift my spirits. I was actually nearly angered by it. I was ready to kill her.

I was seeing red by the end of the period when I had to go down the elevated seats to his desk and explain why I didn't have mine.

"Sir may I please have an extension on the paper?" He looked at me impassively. I'm sure he got requests like this all the time. "I wrote it, it's just in my dorm. Can I go get it?"

"Be quick, Cadet." He said it in a way that suggested he didn't really believe me, and I was going to be glad when I handed it to him and he would be wrong.

My leisurely sprint to my dorm came by really quick. I went into my room and saw the paper upon my desk.

"Hey," said Rea. She didn't have classes that morning. "What are you doing here?"

"Getting my paper."

"Hey don't you have X-Ling right now? All the way on the other side of campus?"

"Yes," I said shortly, but not rudely, putting the paper in my bag.

"How'd you get over here so quick?" She asked but I was already out the door. She was probably wondering why I wasn't out of breath. Lots of people wondered that.

I delivered the paper to his hands and one of his slanted brows raised. By now I was breathing slowly and deeply to get the air back to my lungs, and I was also staring impassively at him waiting for the 'OK' before I could sprint to my next class. I was _so _not going to be late. Ever.

He turned back to his desk and put my paper on top of a pile. I looked over him, seeing he had a tenser back than I'd seen before, but I huffed because I didn't really care and I would not breach personal boundaries [by asking] - we were teacher and student after all - and left after bidding him good day.

?+/:;'

Rea gushed for at least an hour about how great her date with Kirk was. I was listening, because it's not like I could turn my ears off, but I had to cut her off to get to my part time job.

I made small talk with the Xenobiology Professor and then got to work, rolling up my lab coat sleeves. I didn't care what I was doing as long as it didn't involve people or creatures. I say creatures over animals because not all of them were terrestrial to Earth. Cleaning beakers and writing lab reporters were preferable to all of that, because they didn't talk to me. Today though I did watch someone dissect a dead Tribble. Somebody took notes while the guy narrated, and I watched. The smell didn't nauseate me like it did my counterparts. In fact I wished they'd hurry up - they were wasting time with all their exclamations for how bad it smelled. [Why on Earth begin an endeavor if one didn't wish to be efficient? Why waste your time in an activity on pointless exclamations about your emotions?]

During a free block period I found Uhura at a four seater table in the library and on a whim waltzed over throwing my bag on one seat and lounged into the other, throwing my textbook down callously before I dropped into the chair. I folded one ankle over my knee, looking over at her with complete disregard for her reaction. She looked up at first surprised, then she scowled.

"Look," She began hotly.

"No you look," I cut in strongly. "We are going to get over this frigid, one sided cold war we have going on here. We're going to be friends and make up." Easing up, I rubbed the back of my head, saying less strongly, "The tension's killing me."

She gazed at me hard for several seconds, then her face eased up and she looked me over. I sat up, opening my text book, dispassionately eyeing the page numbers as I turned it to the appropriate page.

"We'll study, then we'll get over it. Be as good as new."

We studied solidly for two hours. I found Uhura to be a competent study partner. She understood what I said and even debated with me the answers to questions. Finally we finished our assignment and I closed my textbook and got up, picking up my bag and putting it over my shoulder.

"Good listening to you," I said, and I turned away.

"Wait," She called. I halted in my turn, and slowly turned back to her, my impatience clear on my face.

"So... we're good?" She said, somewhat disbelievingly. I nodded once.

"Yes."

"Oh good," She then gushed, and smiled in relief. "I thought you hated me,"

"I thought you hated me." I sat down.

She shook her head, for once smiling. She had a very beautiful smile.

"No. Since we're rivals... I," She stopped herself. I hated the illogic of conversation. Stopping in the middle of a sentence, for example. You clearly thought it was a good idea to say something a second ago. Why stop now? "People can be really rude... and mean,"

"I can imagine." I said.

"I just didn't know who to trust, these days..."

I nodded.

She smiled widely. She tapped my hand with her own, which had been laying on the table. I fought against pulling it away after she touched me.

"But you understand."

I understood that I probably should have thought before making up with Uhura. Her frigid cold shoulder was bad, but this was worse. I nodded in a way I hoped didn't seem stiff and I stood, excusing myself.

?+/:;'

We got our papers back in Spock's class and I saw red marks all over mine. I looked up with a parted mouth at the man. I swore he almost smirked at me. Almost! Not quite. I think I might have even imagined it. Looking over the mass of white papers in front of everyone that they were checking over and discussing their grades, I probably had the reddest paper. I couldn't believe it. I was so ashamed.

It was like the walk of shame as I left my aisle after class and approached his desk. Professor Spock was writing something on the board, and I asked for his attention with a,

"Sir, what did I do wrong?"

He turned around to me. I had the sense that something was off. I saw in his eyes... something human (weird, he's Vulcan), almost mischievous. But he was the only Vulcan I knew (or knew of). Maybe they had moods.

"You tell me, Cadet."

I glanced at my paper again in my hand, skeptical of what he was asking me. Of course I'd looked over it already in class,

"Well I'd corrected my mistakes. It looks like I just didn't read the question properly." And gave an inappropriate answer, that didn't even answer the question. But he'd gone through it anyway and graded it as if I had. Hence the red. Because it was wrong. It didn't answer the question. It reminded me of those people that didn't read the question properly, then had one line that was relevant and the rest of the essay was a tangent. (Great. Now I'm one of those people that I hate.)

My Professor's brow raised in a commending way so I knew I'd guessed right. He turned to his desk and opened a drawer. I felt some red come to my cheeks. I felt almost like I was prying. He was never this animated in class (I didn't even know he could bend at the waist). Nor did I even know drawers existed in his desk. I looked around me but no one but he and I were there. Where was Uhura? Wasn't she usually pestering him after class?

He pulled out a paper and put it in front of me. Unsure what to do, I picked it up, and opened the first few pages stapled together. It was by the name of someone I didn't know, in another period. It had been corrected and marked with the precision expected of Professor Spock. I looked up at him.

"Read it." He said. "Tell me what's wrong with it."

I skimmed it, because I had to get to class. I agreed with his corrections and remarks on the paper and told him my brief, light analysis.

He nodded.

He then took out a paper from the stack of my own class and this one was clean of red, yet to be marked.

"Same process, Cadet." He said, voice impassive as always.

I made sure to read carefully, all the while aware of his eyes on me (steadily ignoring them), and then I looked up after the first paragraph.

"Well already there are three errors." I said. But I couldn't be bothered to state them out loud. I took great pains to not sound like Uhura. She and I were too alike for my own comfort. [It kept me awake at night.]

He nodded.

"There is a position open for teacher's aid."

I'd heard about it. Everybody quit on him. In days, I'd heard.

"Mm." I nodded.

"I wish for you to take the position."

"What would I have to do?"

"Help me grade papers. Write lesson plans. Grade the assignments I give you. Three nights a week, three hours each."

I nodded and handed him back the paper.

"I'll have to think about it, sir."

He nodded.

"I want your answer by the end of the day, Cadet."

I nodded, ducked my head and left. I had no idea what to say. But I always knew it was best to wait a bit for the idea to stew before I made a decision.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4! Thank you for reading and clicking :)

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><p>I grunted, hoisting myself up the fence. I grunted again, pushing myself over a thick hedge. My fall wasn't exactly graceful nor was it exactly not graceful.<p>

Some weeks ago I'd decided to go out and get a boyfriend. That didn't turn out so well. I didn't like possessive, clingy people least of all the men so I'd broken up with him and was now on my way home from his backyard barbecue party. I straightened my jacket as I walked through the large, green park, taking the shortcut to the Academy. It was considered degrading to go over the fence [but I didn't really care]. I had a good lunch waiting for me.

"Hurst?" I heard. I halted and turned with the neck of a stiff robot. I cognitively didn't like what I saw. McCoy had apparently been walking on the path and had seen the whole thing. He started smirking, looking to where I'd appeared to where I was now standing. "Where're you going?"

I didn't really care if he saw, but he would probably tease me about it and I'd had enough of teasing for it to be positively boring, so I ignored him and jogged onto the grass towards my destination.

"Hey wait!" He said playfully, thinking I was playing some sort of game, probably. I slowed to a walk of my own volition - not for him - my hands stuffed in my pockets and he caught up. He caught my shoulder and I turned, stopped and looked at him. He looked at me, then over my face.

"You're an odd girl," He mused to himself. "Is that lip gloss?" He asked, almost incredulously.

I touched my lips, remembering I'd put it on by the advice of another girl in our year who'd been at the barbecue.

"One must try for one's boyfriend," I said monotonously, beginning to walk again. I was still touching my lip. He followed.

"Boyfriend? I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Hurst." I'd been avoiding him for a while. Everyone I knew, really. I just wanted to be alone for a while. Which meant, being with my boyfriend with his big group of friends, during the day, anyway. Since I'd been teacher's aid, that required a lot of my focus [too]. It was basically correcting people and I was good at that, but that meant being in one person's presence for a long time, so I didn't really have energy to interact with anyone else but Spock. He and I never spoke during the sessions, but it was still draining.

"No, I don't anymore." I said.

"Ahh," He said like it made sense, eyes darting to the fence I had appeared from. "Escaping him, were you?"

I didn't feel like answering him, so I didn't. I did take a clean, folded tissue out of my pocket that I always put there when I go out just in case I'd need it for something like this and wiped it over my lips to get rid of the lip gloss. No point now there was no one to see it.

"Hey," McCoy raised a hand. He halted what I was doing. "It looks good."

We shared a moment, or something, then I smacked my hand out of his hold and marched on. I didn't like... any of it.

?+/:;'

I aced the next three tests I had (each in a different class). I didn't bother to tell anyone. If they were too wrapped up in themselves to notice, then they didn't care. I spotted Spock yet again in the green courtyard when I walked alone to my next class. We looked at each other, then returned to what we were doing. I continued walking and he stayed talking with another Professor.

It was during X-Ling that day when I was caught off guard. I was rummaging around through my bag, Professor Spock was speaking about his expectations, and he stated that my performance in the academy overall and in his class was 'satisfactory', and should be an example. [I guess he was trying to encourage people]. I paused, thrown off. He never, ever complimented anyone. My eyes instinctively - and a little fearfully - darted to Uhura, and she was looking at her papers, but she'd definitely heard. My eyes darted to the Professor, and I hated him.

?+/:;'

I deliberately lowered the quality of the papers and answers to questions I had in that class as consequence. I hated that Professor so much. I was tempted to flunk my tests. It would not hurt my grade. But it would tarnish my near perfect record and I hated the idea of that. I wouldn't let myself do that, no matter how much I hated him. Even though I gave him phony papers where I didn't really try hard and deliberately threw questions in class, I still went to help him on the nights I was his teacher's aid.

I hated him. During class, I gave silly answers, such as,

_"What is the foundation of Klingon culture?"_

_I raised my arm. He nodded to me._

_"One Klingon found the other ugly and headbutted him. The other bit him, and they had to tell their mother that the other one got hungry and wanted a meal. Since then, Klingons have been cheese dipsticks, fighting forever for eternal glory of the empire of Pansypants,"_

_Professor Spock cut me off, going to Uhura. I smirked, while everyone looked at me._

It made as much sense as my anger but that's what made it poetic. I wasn't going to tell anyone that, though. He got in the way of me and Uhura. He obstructed our make up. He ruined our relationship before it even got off the ground. I had only just made up with her!

But during the teacher's aid I was jeopardizing someone else's education if I didn't answer it correctly, so I didn't try it on them. Professor Spock wasn't worried, it seemed, and he must have realized that I _am _studying, because the way I evaluated papers was still the same high quality level as before. We'd never talk, just spend three hours in silence. I worked quite productively and quickly. When I finished my pile I'd move on to another. When the three hours were up, I got up, handed in my well executed piles, and left. He wouldn't look up at me once. Save for the time he publically complimented me, that was pretty much the most verbal contact we had, and I hadn't even spoken then.

I left his office one night with my hands in my pockets, the cool air of the early evening breezing over my arms when I heard footsteps catch up to me.

"Hey!" It was McCoy. I acknowledged him with my eyes but didn't break stride. "Was that Spock's office you were leaving?"

"Yeah," I said.

"You're _still _his teacher's aid?"

I looked at him fully.

"You sound surprised."

"Well yeah, everyone who tries quits in like, three days. He's a slave driver." My that's an old term. Is that even correct? Phrases get so convoluted as time goes on. It's like, four centuries old.

I shrugged.

"I don't mind the work load."

McCoy chuckled at me.

"You're like a mini Vulcan, ya just don't have the ears," He made to touch my ear with his pointer finger, but I pushed it away, then scratched my ear.

"I'm quite human, thank you."

He looked at me for a while while we walked, and after determining that I wasn't offended he then said lightly, casually, trying to be offhanded,

"So when you gonna tell me your name?"

I furrowed my brows at him, lips parted. The whole reason I let no other cadet know my name, well, it was psychology. I didn't want them to think I was one of them. I didn't want to think I was one of them. They were my competition. They were the people I was going to beat.

"You already know my name, it's Cadet Hurst."

?+/:;'

So it was a bit embarrassing when I sat in astrophysics for the first time and immediately the Professor begins talking on about flying into space. [We were supposed to fly into space once this was over? Damn it.]

Choosing Starfleet over any other college or academy was a whim. I could have gone anywhere, technically, if I tried. I chose Starfleet because Starfleet was exclusive. It was the only place to go if you were going to go to the stars. I'll admit I liked that idea better than the reality. I was attracted to the academy because it was the only space training academy there was, with a fantastically high reputation. I'd already said that I liked that once you got in, you had a reputation. I worked my butt off to get in here, but that didn't make me appreciate it more or less. It was just the workload that was required to get in. Now we were looking at planets and the trajectories of travel and I felt a little nauseous. I hadn't thought further than the academy. Once I graduated, I couldn't go anywhere else but into the Federation. God damn it all.

Now, thanks to Professor Spock, I was probably going to deal with Uhura's cold shoulder not only for the rest of the academy (you know Cadet Uhura: star student) I'd probably have to work with her on the senior staff of some ship. Some stupid, stupid ship.


	5. Chapter 5

:)

* * *

><p>I was crashing on my couch in my dorm. I was so bored. I felt like dying.<p>

I felt like crying, too. That hasn't happened in a long time.

Rea hopped home that Saturday afternoon and found me in the couch, bored out of my mind, and suicidal. She double looked at me.

"I missed my appointment," I said. "I mean, my job today."

"What's the matter?" She came over, concern and care in her eyes.

"Life's not worth living." I grunted.

She gave me a sympathetic smile and sat down on the edge of her bed, which was near where my head was on the couch, and held my hand which was folded over my waist.

"Is this because of Liam?"

She's referring to the guy I just broke up with?

"_What_?"

"Breakup's are hard, honey," She said motheringly. "But you'll get through this! You're a great girl, you're smart, sophisticated, pretty,"

"You'll find someone else."

I smiled.

"I hope so."

?+/:;'

I was surprised, and honestly hadn't expected, that when I went out to find a boyfriend that when I dumped him the girl in the shadows then became the girl known for going out and breaking up with one of the most popular guys out there.

Damn it.

?+/:;'

I went out on the weekend with the same group I'd been out with before. McCoy once again took to me. I really liked the dinner we all had and the movie selected was a comedy. I had a blast.

Everyone knew who I was that time, because of the oh so famous breakup. I liked being in the shadows. Then I wanted a boyfriend. Now I don't have either.

I didn't get what the big deal was. People got together and broke up all the time. Rea was on her third guy after Kirk, but she always wanted to go back to him. She sort of... moved on on her own though, which I thought was commendable. She wasn't hung up on him after the first date. [I have the best roommate in the Universe].

I tried talking to Uhura at school but she wouldn't even look at me in class. You could float a piece of paper on the tension in the lecture room. If I were still invested in my relationship with Professor Spock, I'd glare at him 24/7. But I wasn't, so I ignored him 24/7. Other people noticed my disinterest and probably chalked it up to faulty concentration. Haha. As if my concentration could ever be faulty. I still listened to everything Spock said. Because I wouldn't allow myself to get anything less than an A+.

It was one evening - we'd been doing this for a while now - during a teacher's aid session where we were solely grading papers that I got the fright of my life. Spock actually spoke to me. He never, ever spoke to me, not even for manners like 'thank you', or 'goodbye'. He didn't observe those things. I was never bothered, I thought it was a Vulcan thing. I'd never met a Vulcan before. I knew a woman of a certain species I never got the chance to ask for that found it offensive to mask her natural scent - so she never wore deodorant or anything, because that was her cultural norm. So I didn't get in a tiss about not being spoken to by Spock. I sort of preferred it. But I still got a fright when he spoke for the first time. The hall we were in was so vast and quiet at this time of night.

"Is there a problem impairing your academic performance, Cadet?"

"Pardon?" I said, even though I heard him perfectly well (it was more out of fright than anything else).

"Your performance in your other classes is exemplary, as described by your teachers. Your friendly and professional attitude has not ceased since the beginning of the year. In my class I have noted a marked lack of professionalism and lack of enthusiasm during class. Your papers have entrophied in quality, yet your keep your test scores high. What is it that is impairing your academic success?"

His words struck me. I had not realized that I came off unprofessional. It shocked me cold to my stomach. I didn't want that. And the way he phrased that, it made it sound like there was a problem in the class that was preventing me from performing to my highest ability. [There was. Him.]

I finished grading a paper and put it on my 'finished' pile.

"I'm not having trouble with the other kids, if that is what you mean," I said, slightly mocking and insulting.

"There is a disruption to your performance in my class. Yet nothing has changed. Explain."

I looked at him over my shoulder. He was seated at his massive desk, and I was at my little desk designated for teacher's aids. He had not looked up. Somehow I liked his bossiness. I liked demanding, assertive men. Even if this guy was the quiet kind of assertive. It was just more attractive. I meant it like admiration for qualities in another being, another individual, no matter the race. I made friends with people I admired qualities in, and I admired these qualities in him. I may change my hate for him to become his friend. Or better yet! Not. That would be funny. Hating him while being his friend... that may spice up my life a bit. Hm. But I wouldn't. Because we were Professor and Cadet. I don't do that. No breaching of personal boundaries. I won't even be his friend. And believe it or not, Spock was one of those teachers that didn't either. He was very professional about boundaries and people's places. I respected that about him, and it was difficult to earn my respect. [I hated him? But he had my respect?]. I'd observed from the beginning that he was no nonsense. Other teachers could be swayed, by either threats or a pretty girl's smile, but not this guy.

"Cadet, answer your superior."

"Nothing's wrong." I said lowly, finishing another graded paper.


	6. Chapter 6

"So wait, he _asked _what was wrong?" McCoy said to me. We were both sitting on the steps of one of the large buildings. I was sprawled out casually as much as I could in a ridiculously short red dress (the uniform) without anyone seeing up my skirt and McCoy was laying like a guy tanning at the beach; on his elbows, eyes squinting at the overcast sky. He was a really cute guy.

"Yeah," I confirmed casually.

"Such a weird little hobgoblin." I heard him mutter. That was his new nickname for him. He'd sort of just found it. My head tilted back and I laughed out loud, catching some people's attention. Students were passing us going up and down the steps, but both of us had a free period and just decided to camp out in the fresh air, neither one of us feeling like going to our dorms. People's eyes lingered on me. I used to be so unnoticed, then I went out with that guy who I can't remember the name of anymore, and now it's like I'm always on people's radar. I don't know if it's because it was surprising, or if it's because we're no longer together. But I hate it anyway.

"But Professors ask, don't they? They want you to do their best." It wasn't exactly _unheard of._

"Yeah, but not _him,_" He sat up fully, looking at me straight. "Anything wrong in his class, he expects you to figure it out yourself,"

"Unless it goes against protocol or regulations," I corrected.

"Well, yeah, that," I knew he hated it when I corrected him. But I did that with everybody, no need to feel special. "I'm just saying that he doesn't play favorites,"

I was leaning against the cold metal pole of the railing in the middle of the steps, and I shifted, pulling down my skirt a bit. Finally I stood.

"Okaay, this is so uncomfortable," I said, pulling on my dress some more.

McCoy practically leapt up.

"What? What's the matter?"

"What?" I asked sharply, incredulously, whipping round to him, my hands still on my dress. There was something in his tone that I reacted to, in quite an averse way. Then I went back to pulling and tugging. "It's uncomfortable to sit at that angle," I said, quieter but trying to pretend I wasn't affected by his hidden tone.

"Oh," He said softly. His relief was obvious. I internally sighed, looking away from him. I sat down on the step next to where he had been sitting, looking out across the campus. He sat next to me and we talked for an hour more before parting.

?+/:;'

"Of _course _he picked you," Kirk mumbled, taking a seat next to us [during our conversation]. I looked up at the unwelcome intrusion. "Between you and Uhura it must have been a tough decision."

"Why did you say it like that?" I asked, unusually animated.

"What?"

"You say it so sarcastically, 'of _course _he picked you to be teacher's aid', why?" I shrugged my shoulders, my voice slightly high pitched like an ordinary human female's. Usually my voice was so calm, but I was challenging this guy right here.

"Well you're his favorite, ain't ya?"

"...You're the second person to say that to me today." After I gathered my wits, "He doesn't play favorites. He's very objective."

"Besides, she probably wants his attention more than you do anyway." McCoy said, leaning back to bask in the sun.

?+/:;'

_Why _was astrophysics so difficult? Some of it was just common sense, but _what was the point of finding out all these variables? _I understood when it came to practical application, but for goodness' sake, I found anything superfluous so difficult to retain.

I stayed after class to go over the simulation again, trying to understand it. If I went over it slower than in class, I could pick it apart and try to understand _why _we were doing this. I had the device in my hand that projected the melon sized simulation, and I pressed the button in rapid succession to go through the different stages of a rocket's flight path until it reached its destination.

I heard someone laughing behind me and I turned around to see Josh, the guy who normally helps me (but there's only so much you can do when you have to study it yourself at the same time) walking over. I hated it when people laughed at me. It was so unnecessary.

"Having trouble?" He grinned.

I hummed, turning back to the simulation.

"I'm having trouble understanding this new material," My deep tone of voice indicated that I was only communicating for him to understand what I was doing, and I was busy thinking.

"What part are you having trouble with?" He jumped in eagerly to help me.

I looked at him in surprise.

"Don't you have a class?"

"Nah, got the rest of the day off."

I blanched.

"Well I don't want it to take the rest of the day to understand this,"

He laughed.

"I don't think it will. You just need someone who speaks your language,"

"I speak English," I said puzzledly. He laughed and slapped the table he was leaning on in his amusement, and I began feeling a little silly. "Well, we live in a diverse species campus, there is so many difficult cultures and languages..." Just wanted to make it simple for the man!

"Oh, oh..." He was still laughing, but it died off. I felt so awkward. [I hated it].

I returned my attention to the simulation before me.

?+/:;'

For some reason, having it explained to me by someone who was also _taking _the class helped. I was even feeling good about the new material. The guy was right, he just needed to explain it to me in a way that I understood.

"You're _still _his teacher's aid?" Josh said incredulously. I leaned away from him.

"You're the _second _person to have that kind of reaction,"

He laughed at the puzzled look on my face. He held up his hands in surrender. He really was a lax guy.

"I'm, I'm just sayin'. No offense, no harm. He must be really into you for you to stay so long." Jeez I wanted to cringe at his wording. I don't like to think of him like that. I doubt he'd be attracted to a student anyway. The guy follows rules to the letter. He's very, very literal and ruthless in execution of Starfleet's code of conduct, rules and regulations. He stops people for not wearing the right uniform, or anything extra like jewellery on campus. "You tellin' me he hasn't given you the biggest workload ever?"

I cautiously answered him,

"No?" Then I spoke more boldly and confidently. "Well, if it was unmanageable I would have left, wouldn't I?"

He shrugged one shoulder, his lips at the edge turning down. Somehow, Astrophysics helped me analyze my situation better with Professor Spock. If I hated him so much, then why was I still staying his teacher aid? I'd had other offers. Other Professor's loved me. They wanted me to tutor, they wanted me to _give _lectures, they used my papers as examples, yet the thought hadn't even crossed my mind to consider leaving Professor Spock's teacher's aid position. In my private thoughts, where I was rubbing my chin over this, my eyes also bugged out at the revelation. On the outside, I was still.

I snapped out of it in time to notice something move in my peripheral vision and with a 'woah' I pulled my face away from Josh's. He was so close! I could see embarrassment in his eyes as he moved away to a more appropriate distance. He was keeping his facial expression carefully neutral but there were slivers of expression coming through. He wanted to be close like that all the time, but in seeing my reaction he pulled back. Thank God the whole thing looked like an accident. I hated confronting boys that liked me. It usually meant I couldn't have the conversations that I adored with them afterwards, because they were too emotional towards me.

"Just uh, making sure you're still here," He said, chuckling sheepishly. It was for the first time that I noticed that he was very classically handsome. Considered by most girls to be... well, handsome. And attractive. I wondered what he saw in me, then I told myself not to think like that. Think positively about yourself. Josh is handsome. I am handsome. Gosh, I mean Josh, is handsome. I am handsome...

I was focusing so hard on thinking positively that I wrote 'x = handsome' on my homework.

?+/:;'

I failed that test.

I sighed heavily. I can't believe I really failed it. Just because I felt good about it didn't mean that I would be able to execute it well on a test.

I was sitting in my disappointment of myself, and my slight apathy for the situation, on a campus bench as the sky was darkening. One of my arms were sprawled out on the back of the chair. I was surrounded by green grass and lush trees, and I was utterly alone. The stray person or two passed by in the distance, couples or someone on a late night jog. I was considering what I was going to do, how I was going to get better. I had to work at this, clearly. I'd never been introduced to astrophysics before, and the material was honestly hard. My Professor said that I clearly understood the concepts, but in the tiny mathematical details I made silly mistakes. This was a recurring theme throughout my life, so I wasn't too hard on myself because of it. I'd just have to make up the test.

It was so frustrating. But I threw myself into astrophysics anyway. Throughout the period where I focused solely on that one subject, I completely forgot that I hated Professor Spock. I answered normally in X-Ling, asked questions, like usual. I also had to practice speaking more in the different languages. I practiced with my partner but I also practiced talking to my wall a lot. My desk neighbor was always unavailable to talk. It was one thing to understand and know it written down, but it was a language and I had to know how to speak it. I'd have my book out on my lap at breaks, carefully sounding out each letter. I did that before, but I did it in my head, not out loud. I also frequently revised the material we'd already learned, even though there was no test. I wanted to be perfect.

I didn't really notice, but Professor Spock had become... slightly less tense, I noticed, during the teacher's aid sessions. I hadn't even noticed he was tense. But apparently he was because he relaxed just the tiniest amount. It was enough for me with my perception - which usually was above others, considering what other people noticed and what I did - to notice in the corner of my eye. Of course I never commented on it. It's rude. And we were teacher and student, not friends. Or even 'acquaintances'. We had a professional relationship and that was it.

In response to his slight relaxing, I also slightly relaxed. The sessions became less draining on my energy - an unexpected, but delightful surprise.

Starfleet grew on me. With all the talk of duty, of honor, commitment, I began to relax. Seeing how it was a big responsibility to go out there into space. It was no longer a scary thing to sort of be scoffed at or laughed off, it was a serious, real thing. I began to have a growing respect for Starfleet, and the Federation, and the Academy, and I raised the quality of my paper's again in Spock's class, and I began taking part in extracurricular activities. Before, I'd always kept so much to myself. Hey, I saw it as a good idea. Especially learning to fight. I'd need basics at the very least. Competition to get selected on a ship was fierce, so I needed to be as well rounded as possible. I enjoyed the rigorousness of it all, in the end, even if I was awkward about people and the new surroundings of the dojo in the beginning. Once I felt comfortable I pursued it like I pursued anything - aggressively.

After class one day I walked down the rows of seats to greet Spock.

"Sir, can you help me with the pronunciation of this thing?"

?+/:;'

The gloves slipped on my hands and I began to get to work on my usual customary work in the X-Bio lab.

"No no no no no," said my exuberant Professor, gliding in next to me. "Today, you're getting an upgrade."

"A promotion?"

"Yes, you can think of it that way," He was incredibly charming, other people would find anyway, I was sort of immune to charm. He guided me with his hands on my shoulders to another desk, where the older kids were. "You'll be working on the reports now. You're done with scrubbing beakers."

"...Thanks," I said, noticing how the older Cadets were looking at me. Curious, surprised, slightly irritated. Slightly.

This confirmed what my instincts said. The Professor liked me. What was I supposed to do? I had no idea. Should I keep working? Quit working, and find another job that I absolutely detested? Right now, he'd never made any overt moves to me, but perhaps it was best to remind him I was a Cadet.

"Thank you, sir. This work means a lot to me to build my future," I said, giving him a bright smile.

He nodded awkwardly and returned to his office.

?+/:;'

It was another quiet evening where I was aiding Professor Spock. I looked up at the clock. Two hours had gone by. One hour to go. I put another graded paper on a pile.

"Is Astrophysics a difficult subject for you, Cadet?"

"No, I can talk about it," I joked. Then I cleared my throat. He made no motion that he understood the joke, and I just answered properly. "No, sir. But the equations are, yes."

"You failed the last exam."

"Yes, sir. I'm re-taking it tomorrow."

He nodded almost inconspicuously.

How did he know that? I wondered. It's not like we're chummies, ya know.

"I trust you are adequately prepared."

I didn't like how intimate this conversation was. It was... like a breach.

I nodded to answer his question. Then when I realized he wouldn't hear it unless I spoke, I gave a quiet 'yes'.

The three hours were up and Spock and I left the lecture room where we held all the teacher's aid sessions. The door closed behind us both and I was about to bid goodbye to Professor Spock when I heard my name being called out.

I quickly bid Professor Spock goodbye and he nodded to me. I turned from him and walked down the hall. I saw Josh.

"Hi, you ready?" He said to me.

I nodded.

"Ready." I rocked on my heels, my hand holding my bag on my shoulder. I smiled at him and we turned. He was going to give me last minute prep for the test again tomorrow. It was really nice of him to offer.


	7. Chapter 7

The finals were here.

Everyone was stressing out and spazzing out about it. People were in tears before the exams took place. I actually laughed at how stupid everyone was. There was no way to be tactful about it - it _was _stupidity. Our whole lives, all we have to do is memorize data and spit it out. Yet each time it's like they don't know what to do. It's not really a test of knowledge, it's a test of how you can take a test. Which was why I never equated grades with intelligence. When I was little, I never bothered on the written tests, because an alphabetical letter on a piece of paper that was supposed to be my report card wasn't threatening to me. It held no power. But it rules everybody else's world. When I realized that it held rewards, however - certificates, awards, recognition, I put my back into it. It was easy to get high grades. But all that was necessary for _any _test, is if you paid attention and learned the material necessary in the class time allotted. If you did it in small bits, you didn't have to cram. And then a test was a breeze. I was amazed each time we had a test at how nervous people were. If you did it right, there was no need to be nervous.

I was the first one to finish the test, as usual. You either knew the material, or you didn't. So I didn't break my own back trying to figure out the answers to questions I didn't know. I just made an educated guess and moved on. There were lots of trick questions, but it was to be expected. That was the only way to test knowledge. So I got up, turned my test in, and left.

?+/:;'

McCoy flopped dramatically onto the grass next to me, waking me up from my dozing in the sun. I sighed and lay back down. I hated how emotional he was.

"That was _intense_!"

I heard laughter and I realized he brought his whole group of friends over to my oasis.

"McCoy, can you _not _invite everyone over to my peaceful place?" It was on the sports field by a tree. I went there when I wanted to be alone. Yet here everyone was.

"Uh, man," McCoy said, fanning himself. "It is _hot _today."

"And it was so hot in there!" A Bolian moaned. "How do they expect us to concentrate on the hottest day of the year without fans? You know, on my planet - " She began speaking about something that I listened to intently because it sounded interesting, but someone cut her off to speak over her and then I didn't get to hear it. Damn it.

"Man, that test was hard,"

"Yeah! I didn't know the answer to like, _half _of it!"

"I so failed that test."

I sighed.

"McCoy, I was supposed to be here alone. And no one was supposed to know where this is."

"Aw come on, there's a nice breeze here." He leaned up on one elbow, looking at me skeptically. "Come on, don't tell me you didn't think that test was hard."

"I didn't think that test was hard." I pushed his shoulder and he rolled back onto his back. Then his expression exploded in incredulity.

"Are you kidding me?!"

"No," I said quietly. "It's no more difficult than what I've been doing every day of the week so far this year. It's nothing new."

"_That's _why she has the highest grades in the year, save for that Uhura girl." Someone said.

I'd had enough by now. I wanted to be alone. I stood and without a word, left the hooligans to do whatever they wanted.

?+/:;'

Since the finals were over, everybody was out. There were as many people out on campus as there were on the first day. Gosh, was there no where I could be alone? I didn't want to be in my dorm. It was such a nice day out. And I was in my dorm all the time.

I found myself in the least likeliest place anyone would be - the X-Bio lab.

I knocked on the door. I didn't see my Professor, so I just put on my gloves and went through my routine. I could hear people celebrating and laughing and whooping outside. But I continued working.

I heard the door open and I looked up to see my Professor walk in. His face brightened upon seeing me.

"Ah, I was just talking about you."

"Oh?" I said, turning back to my work, but my tone friendly.

"Good things, good things," He chuckled, coming over. "What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be out celebrating." I moved something from one table to another as he leaned on the table.

"Not much of a celebrater," I said.

He looked me over and I pretended not to notice it in the corner of my eye. I took off my plastic gloves,

"Well, there's nothing to do here anyway. The, now graduates, fixed this up fine. Nothing left for me to do. So I'll get going."

"Well now, why's the rush?"

But I was already walking quickly to the exit, laughing nervously over my shoulder.

"See you next year, Professor!"


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for the reviews! :)

* * *

><p>The three months I had off were eventful, and then when I got back to the Academy it was like time slowed down. I vacationed with my grandparents in the Alps in the small town they lived in. I even worked part time in a little gift shop there. There was always something going on, just not intellectually, so when I came back to Starfleet Academy it took a bit of getting used to using my head so much again. And being around so many people after three months of an essentially nomadic existence. My mother had been upset I wanted to vacation with my grandparents, but I never saw them, so I thought prolonged time was a good idea.<p>

The first day back was exciting for most people. Everyone was hugging each other, greeting each other, saying hi. People who recognized me approached me with big groups of people to have an exuberant hello. I could tolerate that for about five minutes before I had to leave, but I was good at appearing extroverted while it mattered.

Professor Spock was on us instantly.

"This is not vacation anymore. Now is the time to work."

A lot of people found the Vulcan's ways and speech patterns to be enigmatic. I'll admit it took a little bit to get used to them again. But he was all work, work, work and no one was surprised and just got back in the swing of things.

After reviewing the way I handled last year, I knew when to push the gas pedal and when to take it off now. I whittled down my equipment to only the things I needed.

I absolutely hated it, but I had to do some more face time with people. Keep up my relationships. Such a waste of time if you ask me, but it would help me someday. People had to know who I was.

?+/:;'

To keep refining my linguistics skills, I joined the club Professor Spock headed since he was the Xeno-Linguistics professor. I couldn't be perfect enough.

In addition to refining my studying hours, I also changed around the hours I would relax and when I would go out. And I did go out more. I needed to experience life on Earth before I went up into space. Then that way, when I'm dying on my ship from a dangerous mission I'll have memories to flash back to.

With Rea's help I got a job at a restaurant to earn some extra money. I didn't take up my old X-Bio Professor's offer for another job.

After X-Ling class one evening I approached Uhura with my hand on my messenger bag. I noticed that the girl spent so much time studying she would be alone a lot. And I wanted to have a good relationship with her. She seemed like a nice girl.

"Hi, Uhura." I said kindly. She looked up at me, but her face didn't harden. I could sense there was some residual jealousy before, but now it was completely gone. I wondered why.

She straightened her back and smiled at me, adjusting her messenger bag.

"Hi, Cadet Hurst." She said formally. I smiled.

"You're going to do well in Starfleet, Uhura." I complimented, really meaning it. If she got in those habits now, she was definitely going to soar. "My friends and I are going out for dinner later. I was wondering if you wanted to come along,"

She looked like the offer was unexpected, and stammered a little. Then she smiled and accepted. I told her where to meet us and bid her a good day.

?+/:;'

Uhura _really _hit it off with everybody. I was worried at first that she would be a wallflower and I'd be the only one to talk to her, but she actually blended in quite well. I was glad. Maybe she could replace me one day. I really, really hoped so. I was happy that there was something to talk about in the group that wasn't sex related or degrading a teacher as we sat in the restaurant together.

Once we were done, this was where we usually paired off and went our own ways. The usual people went clubbing and drinking, or to each other's places, and it was just Uhura and I, although McCoy asked her to go dancing with him. She put a hand behind her hair and declined with a smile on her face. Then she came up to me, where I was waiting to see what she would do since I was responsible for introducing her to everyone in the first place (I had to see if she would get home safe), and she asked me what I was going to do.

"I'm going to either go back to my dorm, or see a movie."

"This late?" She asked.

"It's only 7." I said. "But you're right. It'll be crowded." I knew that wasn't what she meant but I charged down the sidewalk. I was happy and showed it with a smile when Uhura power walked up to me. She could keep up with my pace. I was happy.

"So, how's your studies so far?" She was one of the few people to ask. I just remembered then that I had to send my mom a message.

"Good," I said. "It's all fine."

She nodded.

"I noticed you joined the X-Ling club?" She headed it, _with _Professor Spock.

"Yeah."

"I'm glad. We could use someone like you there."

I smiled. We crossed the street and we were nearly at the campus. The night was dark and there was no wind. I pulled my jacket over my shoulder more when the wind flapped it away as it passed when we stepped out of the shelter of a building.

"You began it last year didn't you?"

She nodded, smiling.

"I was surprised no one had thought of it before."

"It's a good idea."

"Mm. I hoped to help people who were struggling with pronunciation."

"Your pronunciation has always been very good."

"So has yours." She said. Her face shifted as she looked away. "You're a natural."

"I just copy Professor Spock, and whoever else is talking in the videos and the demonstrators." I began to feel a bit uncomfortable. "And I thought you were a natural too?"

She sighed, and said nothing. She just determinedly looked forward. I looked forward to, unsure whether to speak or not.

"I'm sorry if I offended you."

"You didn't." She said, but the way she said it suggested I did.

"I mean it, Uhura, you have one of the best pronunciations in so many dialects in the class."

"I know." She said, blowing out a sigh through her nose. We stopped at a street, waiting for the hovercars to go by, then crossed when we were signalled.

We were at the campus now and she was charging away.

"Sorry I made your evening uncomfortable," I called, sincere. She didn't turn around to look at me as she marched away. After looking at her for a few moments, I went to my dorm.

?+/:;'

We were arguing in X-Ling. We had to thoroughly speak in one language, and present arguments in that language to our partners. The amount of oral work had upped significantly. Many people were drinking water or stopping or stumbling over pronunciation. I had trouble in particular rolling my 'r's, since English doesn't do that, but with all my practice last year (which was extra) was paying off now so I wasn't so far behind. But three months off did make me rusty.

?+/:;'

It wasn't long before my real personality came out and I couldn't keep up going out so often.

?+/:;'

I walked down the rows of seats to my astrophysics II professor, keen on getting a tutor. I would not fall back like last time. I will understand _all_ the material, _the first time_.

?+/:;'

In the quiet, deserted library, I cracked up laughing. Since Josh tutored me for astrophysics last year (I had a different tutor now), he went to me for X-Ling. He was a funny guy. I was mostly serious, but he made me laugh. We were mostly talking about the work, nothing personal, but he still said things that made me laugh.

"There, you've got it. All ready for your test with Professor Spock tomorrow." I said, closing the textbook.

"Professor Spock? Man, he _hates _me," Josh was grinning.

"Spock? No, that's an exaggeration. Everybody thinks he hates him." I put my textbook away and pulled up my messenger bag to get it ready to leave, staying in my seat.

"No, honest! I had the _exact _same answer as this other guy on a test, he docked one point off."

I looked at him skeptically.

"That doesn't sound right."

"No, seriously! I brought it to him, and he said something about regulation, and..."

I could tell by the look on his face that he was actually bothered by this. The idea came to me to perhaps speak to Professor Spock. But why? Why would my talking to him change anything?

I must have been quiet too long because Josh leapt out of his seat and packed up his bag.

"He's got it out for me," He shook his head, trying to be casual. I put my hand on his arm to halt him.

"I'll see what I can do," I said. He sighed in relief. "I can't promise anything, but if a Professor's being unfair then it's our job to talk to them about it."

?+/:;'

It was after X-Ling that day when I went to go look outside my class door and he was standing there waiting. I nodded that the place was quiet and deserted and we both headed down to Professor Spock's desk.

"Professor Spock," I said. He looked up and saw the both of us. I looked at Josh and then back to Professor Spock, politely ignoring the look of apprehension Josh had as he looked at our X-Ling professor. We both had him, but at separate periods. "We just wanted to know why Josh got one less point than someone else when they had the exact same answer."

Professor Spock cocked his head.

"Which Cadet, Cadet Wils?"

Josh gave him the name and Spock pulled up the other student's test. I stood around at the desk with the two guys. With my eye, I knew how Spock graded papers since I graded them too. I saw that indeed the two answers were essentially the same. Spock then explained that Josh hadn't used a keyword in explaining something, and that was why the point was docked. Josh 'ah'ed like he knew it all along and he was so stupid, and then thanked Professor Spock on the way out. I thanked Professor Spock too and was on my way out when he called me back.

"Just a sec, Josh," I said.

He raised a hand in a slight wave and said,

"Don't stress, I gotta go anyway," He left before I could say or do anything. Feeling a bit rejected, I lumbered down the stairs again to Professor Spock, trying to keep it inside and invisible.

"Yes, sir?" I asked, my hands behind my back.

"I noticed that you have not applied for teacher's aid this year, Cadet Hurst." I blinked, finding it weird that he both brought this up _and _used my last name. I sensed something, but I didn't know what yet. I had to focus on what he was saying.

"Was I supposed to?" I asked with a raised brow, sincerely thinking that I'd missed something here.

"I've had to accept Cadet Uhura for the position. The window was open a week longer than usual."

When I said nothing, he continued.

"I have shortened the term for teacher's aid to a semester. Next semester is open for applicants."

I nodded.


End file.
